Crispin Home: February 2009

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Misses ........deeply!!!

Hilo,

Don know what to say, how to say, what to express???

it has been 20 days since my mum left us in pain, grief....feels like not right in doing anything!
I only have 3 family members + my wife is only Four! Now my family just left 3 and it makes lot's of differences! A huge gap had been formed!

Me, my father, my wife.....were not in any mood! We were like.......a piece of whit cloths floting above the river! we deeply missed our mother, wife and mother-in-law!

What can we do???????

I do hope that my mother will go to heaven with peace of mind!!!!

We love you mom! always and forever!

sign out : loving son "BOY"!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Tribute to my mum!

I really miss my mum from day to night, since my eyes wide open till late of night, every corner of my house, every jokes me made with her , every coffee she makes for me everytime i goes back,.......the voice......the love......the caring feeling and warm feeling......it hurt me from top to toe.....squeezing my heart dearly and all i know is that i'm in great loss.....great pain.......and the last thing....she's not here anymore........!

I still can't accept it.........too fast......i miss her last meal with my father and grandmother where she cook for them before she left us! This is my greatest pain of all!

I miss her to call my name.....shout at me, angry me, care, love and all those things.....that we have gone through for 30 years!

I LOVE YOU MUMMY.......FOREVER IN MY HEART.......YOU ARE MY GREATEST VICTORY AND MUM AWARDS THAT HAPPEN TO ME ALL THESE YEARS......!

LOVE,LOVE,LOVE,LOVE,LOVE,LOVE,LOVE,LOVE,LOVE,LOVE,LOVE,LOVE,LOVE,LOVE,LOVE,LOVE,LOVE,LOVE,

LOVE,LOVE,LOVE,LOVE,LOVE,LOVE,LOVE,LOVE,LOVE,LOVE,LOVE,LOVE,LOVE,LOVE,LOVE,

BOY!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Sad Moment through my life!!

It's 07.02.2009......was the worst day of my life......ever.....!

Around 10pm I received a call from my father shouting " Boy, come fast, come fast......mummy died liow" ......I was stunt! I was blank, I was .......nowhere but just wanted to be there as fast as I could! In my mind.....I taught my father and my mother was just fighting over......but when I arrived, I saw lot's of people waiting outside....my father's friends, worker....stood out there quietly as my heart started bouncing heavily.....! My father lead me and my wife to the back of our house where my "MUM" died on that spot! I knew nothing but just know how to kneel down in front of her......touching her for the last time......calling her name to answer me.......but in the end.....nothing happen but just I knew that I had lost her!!!!!

I just sat there......in front of her.......looking at her for the last time......for 2 hours! Then the coffin people arrived and there it goes again.......tears burst out heavily.....! I had to carry my mum out with my father to the outside......then I started to cry out in pain where I had to clean my mother body, dress her up, wear her shoes and my wife put on make up on her!
My minds goes blank.......white out......but in pain and grief!

3 days the ceremony where I just took a rest of less than 5 hours where I just want to stand by her, for the very last time.....really really last time.......I just want to stood by her side, talk to her, touch her (coffin glass)...........really pain!

All my relatives arrived, friends........Thank you.......that all I managed to say!

I REALLY REALLY MISS MY MOTHER ALOT ....SADLY AND DEEPLY!
I LOVE YOU MUMMY....FOREVER IN MY HEART......ALWAYS TILL THE END!